< allygrace
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i'm ally, i'm seventeen

"the lines I wear around my wrist are there to prove that I exist"

my blog is my mind. it's sad sometimes.

you are enough. it's as simple as that. don't be afraid to talk to me. I hope you have a day that is as beautiful as you are ❤️

Tomorrow I leave for Sydney, to perform in the State Dance Festival. To get to this stage we had to pass auditions to perform in the Riverina Dance Festival, perform, and then be chosen from there. To even get this opportunity I had to be in the Riverina District Ensemble, auditioning with over 40 other girls to get a spot. Other auditions also mean we’re going back to Sydney later this year to be a part of School Spectacular; a performing arts showcase that airs on national tv.

I don’t know. I know it’s a great achievement, especially for me. But I just don’t feel worthy of it. All the other girls are thin and tall, most of them classically trained or similar ballet/contemporary. Some of them have amazing talent, and just seem to be able to do everything. I’m just not that. I’m no where near that. There’s so many things I can’t do. I look like a hopeless beginner against them. I just don’t know why I have a spot among these girls. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I just feel like I bring down their routine. I’m just worried I’m gonna ruin it.

I haven’t felt so bad in so long. I just feel exhausted and overwhelmed and worthless. A failure. I’m severely depressed. And I don’t even wanna talk, or be comforted or reassured. I just want to be unconscious. So I can forget this feeling in my chest.